'Happy people will always encourage. Successful people will always support. Attractive people will always compliment. Those who hav...
'Happy people will always encourage. Successful people will always support. Attractive people will always compliment. Those who have nothing to offer will always bring you down.'
The above social media feed makes it easier to understand the psychology of biased critics. Whether it is an official meeting, parent-teacher conference or any of life's adventures, discouraging words start dripping from the mouths of those who are unhappy, unsuccessful and ultimately unattractive.
The irony is that criticism reveals the criticising authority more than its recipient, as Oscar Wilde writes in his aphoristic style, "Criticism is the only reliable autobiography." Simply put, criticism is always self-revealing. It exposes our own turmoil and failings.
Criticism is a matter of ego, which always seeks to be filled, while encouraging others comes from soul, which is an eternal wholeness. In a belittling criticism, the critic desires pathologically to assert their superiority, relevance or ego-pampering vendetta. Behind such behaviours lurks the need for validation i.e. to assert their intelligence or moral superiority. When they too are defied, hierarchical or relational relevance is asserted to condescend to the target of criticism.
Physiological markers of biased critics include speaking at higher decibels, palpitations of heart and panting breath. Instead of the power of language, the language of power (authority) is wielded to subdue the opposition. When the critic fails to counter the opposite arguments, he takes no time in revealing his true colours and stoops so low that he descends from generalised argumentation to personal attacks. Criticism is not just a matter of words; it's fundamentally a matter of emotions.
John Gottman, in his theory, Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, counts criticism as the first foundational misstep among the four destructive communication styles. It leads unhindered to the other three - contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. His research differentiates between complaint and criticism: the former aims at behaviour while the latter targets character; the former invites conversation while the latter defence. Similarly, psychologists distinguish between criticism as information and criticism as interpretation. 'There are errors in your essay' is information while 'You are careless' is interpretation. The former conveys what it is, while the latter, how you are.
Criticism is the easiest job to do: the hobby of inertia-stricken people. As criticism is the diarrhoea of a diseased mind, critics never enjoy sound health. Their weak immunity renders them susceptible to seasonal maladies. Their own tolerance becomes too porous to brace bits of criticism when they themselves are on the receiving end.
Few things reveal our true character and generosity of spirit better than how we give our feedback, especially to a work deficient in something. We must exercise caution when criticising an artist's work because of their vulnerable tendency to take criticism of their work as criticism of their character. The evaluation tinged with prejudice, validation or personal values produces biased and vitriolic criticism. Such critics are bereft of self-awareness and humanism and suffer from the 'god complex', marked by infallibility of judgment and absoluteness of evaluation.
Criticism always proves counterproductive because it demands submission, and human beings hate to submit to an authority that inspires respect through condescension. Moreover, the raison d'être of criticism is to devalue the recipient, and human beings resist the most who devalues them.
The surfeit of advice is meant only for the recipient - that they should ignore the critics. Such advice has emboldened the busybodyish critics so much that every lone ranger or prime mover is surrounded and subdued by them. Unless the critics are made aware of how injurious their criticism is to their own selves, it's difficult to stop their rampage. The critics will readily accept the chastisement to secure their vested interests, as they are always self-centred. Awareness of self-harm is the best advice for persona-non-grata critics.
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